THANK YOU
This post has been a long time coming. I have been trying, and failing, to adequately put these words on paper (computer screen) for months. I guess the only way to do it is just do it.
So here it is….
You financed our survival.
That's right. After Deral died, you rallied behind us and supported us in the only way anyone could, through giving. Finances, prayers, food, words of encouragement and hugs. These gifts sustained us. They still do.
I have never been good about getting thank you notes out. Just ask the box of wedding thank yous I found, stamped and ready to go 10 full years after we tied the knot. I even planned on getting those out, then lost them again while moving. This is the cross I bare and pray my people understand that is a personality flaw, my intentions are always good, and I like a personal thank you better than a note anyway.
My lack of mailing ability coupled with the absolute horror of losing my child and the complete chaos of that time and the lack of documenting each gift has made personal thank yous impossible. I have tried to express my gratitude to everyone I see, explaining just how life sustaining their contributions have been to our family. Yet, I feel a public thank you post is needed.
Thank you!! Thank you for contributing to my family's ability to heal.
It has been a year and a half since the worst day of my life. I am just now able to spend a consistent amount of time in the kitchen again. We spent the first year eating out every single day. I just simply could not cook. Eating out is expensive and unhealthy but I couldn't bring myself to cook. Meal planning, grocery shopping and the actual being in the place that my son’s accident took place was all too much.
So thank you! Thank you for allowing me the time to heal. Thank you for affording me the time (and money) to mend my broken heart enough to start cooking for my family again. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don't think about the gift of time your contributions gave me.
We spent the first 6+ months after Deral died running. Literally, we ran from activity to activity, place to place, trying to escape the reality of loss, trying to escape the pain of trauma, Trying to avoid the place we watched our baby die. We couldn't be in our home, and also couldn't move from the last place I saw my son alive. We were trapped. Trapped by trauma, by pain, by fear of really feeling the heart ache. So we ran.
Friends, I cannot express how thankful I am for the financial gift you gave that allowed us to run. I cannot imagine where I would be today if I didn't have that blessing. I'm sure we didn't make the best financial decisions. I imagine we weren’t the best stewards of the gifts we were given in those weeks and months, but I do know the life source that money gave us. I still see the blessing of freedom that money gave us. I still feel the weight of anxiety lift from our backs because of that gift. I still see the ability to take time to go to therapy and process the trauma we all experienced without the financial hardship of time off work. I still see medical bills paid because of your gifts. I still see therapists paid because of your gifts. I see our purpose and have the ability to achieve our God given tasks because of your gifts. I watch my healing children thrive because of your gifts.
Friends, thank you! Thank you for your gifts. Thank you for never questioning us and never pressuring us to explain ourselves. Thank you for your constant prayers and support. Thank you for loving us! Thank you for giving so freely and choosing to help us get through the initial days, weeks and months of our loss. We can never repay you. We could never thank you enough.
You have directly impacted our survival. Your gifts are how we have made it to this point. You were Jesus to us. You showed us love, compassion and above all hope. You gave us purpose, you gave us life. You helped us survive.
Thank you!
Always Hopeful,
Michelle